What is compulsory monogamy?

Welcome to the first post on Sl*ck Pussy Politx. This is Virtù’s occasional blog, a space where we can discourse on sexuality and sensuality at the intersections.

This is a quick post, to broadly outline what we mean when we think about compulsory monogamy, and why we emphasise that we work with people who are voluntarily monogamous. The short answer is agency and bodily autonomy. We believe that adults must be able to determine for themselves how they will find pleasure through their sensuality and sexuality, and their romantic relationships, free from external coercion or sanctions.

To Virtu, people are compulsorily monogamous, even if they are in a seemingly monogamous relationship, where they are in one despite monogamy not being their preferred relationship format, and indeed possibly despite deep scepticism about whether monogamy can be a feasible format for long term sexual and sensual relationship satisfaction for any humans. We also don’t consider people to be voluntarily monogamous in situations where they feel coerced by social, cultural, and religious norms to engage in monogamous relationships, and they feel unable to explore their true and full sexual, romantic and sensual desires because they fear the possible social, cultural, and religious repercussions of non-monogamy. 

We do not aim to convince anyone to be monogamous, nor do we think that there are sexual or sensual practices or processes that can or should be used to coerce ourselves or others to be monogamous, nor do we believe that there are sexual or sensual practices that can be applied that will have the impact of causing someone who has been flouting the agreed relationship parameters, to suddenly be respectful of them.

Rather our goal is to support those who are choosing to be monogamous due to deeply held spiritual, cultural, personal or other reasons to fully explore their bodies, sexuality and sensuality, in a context in which their desire to practice monogamy will not be mocked, considered regressive, or otherwise a stumbling block on their own journeys of body and sexual liberation. 

We support your decision to fuck one person for the rest of your life. Let’s work together to make it make sense across all your seasons.